sunshine girl

pretty cool, nice message but a bit messy in places e.g off of which should probably just be 'off'. I did like it though.

I really liked this, the imagery was lovely but in parts a tiny bit repetitive. I thought some parts sounded better than others, but overall I really liked it.

I thought it was pretty cool. I liked the image of the sweet smelling pollen but in places the good imagery was lost by certain words e.g drabby. really nice ...

I like the ideas of this, however in parts it seems just a bit too clumsy. I know people don't write exact english in their diaries (I for one certainly ...

I quite liked this, and the ideas were great but parts were a tiny bit cliche. I think expressing something so old (love!) in a new way is really hard ...

thanks for all your comments. I wrote this for a competition which it won so at the moment I'm not looking to do any more work on it, especially as ...

It never occurred to me that it was strange to see a ghost leaning against the school gate on a summer’s afternoon, a half eaten apple held in her hand. ...

Hush little darling, Just rest in your bed, Dream of sweet angels, Don’t think of the dead. Hush little darling, Don’t spill any tears, Despite your young age, You are ...

She holds her head high, And walks with the grace Of a heart of steel. She’s the kind of girl Who would do your homework, A push over. She’s a ...

oops

In a nutshell, Behind the armour And the glossy edge, There is a soft centre. Many choose to pierce the outer shell Just to taste the sweet inside. Although it ...

Hiding behind those brown brown eyes. Whisper in the snow drowning in The silence that sticks to you Like toffee. wandering, oh To be more like you Behind the barricade ...

Thanks for all your comments! I am new to this and was worried comments would be harsh! Thanks for the advice about stanzas, good idea. :)

I hope that's a good thing

Thanks, I'll have a looky at the FAQs. I love the bunny too, it's so cute!